Are you Exhausted by PPS? (Perfect Parenting Syndrome)

If you are co-parenting with someone who tries to control, manipulate, tell you how to parent, or drive you insane – chances are you are suffering from Perfect Parenting Syndrome.

What is Perfect Parenting Syndrome?

PPS is when you are trying to parent a child/children and someone is constantly shining a magnifying glass on every little thing you do, every word you speak, relentlessly looking – searching – for something, anything, they can criticize.

And when I say relentless, I mean RELENTLESS.

You can’t buy a new outfit for your kids without your Ex complaining about the size, the colour, the fit, the brand, how much you spent, how much you didn’t spend… etc…

You can’t volunteer at your child’s school without your Ex calling the school to complain that you are infringing on his/her parenting time, that you are brainwashing the kids by volunteering, that you are alienating the kids from them. All. Because. You. Volunteered.

You can’t help your kids with their homework because your style is wrong.

You can’t carpool kids to a birthday party because you are a terrible driver.

You can’t afford to have your 3 year old miss a morning of teeth brushing because if your Ex discovers the oversight, you’ll hear about it for a month.

So what do you do to cope with this constant criticism?

Because you are who you are – nice, a fixer, an I-can-figure-this-outer – you try to do better.

You try to raise your parenting bar to that of your Ex’s so that they will stop faulting you for EVERYTHING. You. Do. And. Say.

Your rational brain knows that that approach doesn’t make any sense – they aren’t perfect – they don’t have parenting figured out – they screw up sometimes – but your emotional brain just wants the constant scrutiny to stop.

So you try harder, do more, sleep less, sink lower into a state of confusion, bewilderment and anger about your level of fear around screwing up.

STOP!   Stop right now.

It doesn’t matter what parenting bar you are trying to reach, you’ll never reach it.

If you try to do everything your Ex tells you to improve on in hopes that the negativity will stop, the very next day your Ex will change their mind and want you to do it a different way.

You. Can’t. Win.

So stop competing, stop playing the game, stop working so darn hard to be the perfect parent.  The perfect parent doesn’t exist.  Not in separated families, not in in-tact families.

Not on TV (altho TV likes to make us think their fake families are perfect)

Not on Facebook. (Although man, some families look like they totally have it together in their photos! Side note: the families that look like they have it all together on social media are usually the ones who are totally falling apart behind the scenes).

Not in a different country, not in this country, NOT ANYWHERE.

Are you exhausted by the constant barrage of scrutiny and criticisms about your parenting skills?

At the end of your rope with trying to be amicable with someone who can’t find a positive word to say about you and are ready for real change?

Then you need to delve into how to *Disengage* from your need to have your Ex like you, for Ex’s approval, for your need to have your Ex not criticize your parenting.

Your Ex doesn’t get to create your parenting bar, you do.

Need help disengaging?

When Parents Can’t Be Friends Online will help you disengage from your Perfect Parenting Syndrome and help you create a parenting style you can be proud of, one that works for you and your children – but probably not your Ex.

Need more support? I provide 1:1 coaching to help you master whatever hurdles are in your way. Don’t know what those hurdles are? I do.